One of the hardest and most amazing classes I’ve taken helped me discover the benefit of facing my fears.

And during the entirety of the 3 day class, I face so many of my fears.

It helped me discover that it was the way to set me free.

One of the stories they shared helped me comprehend the power and freedom available when facing fears.

It was a story of a lion pride.

This lion pride had a small number of lionesses to hunt and bring back food.

They had a fantastic strategy that worked every time though.

And we can all learn from this play in their playbook.

The star role was given to the grandma lion.

She couldn’t run anymore,

Or hunt anymore,

Or take down prey anymore.

But what she STILL could do was…

ROAR,

And they used that to their advantage to up their numbers.

They placed her in front of the prey, while the rest of the hunters created a trap opposite the old lioness.

When the prey heard the grandma's great roar,

They ran the OTHER WAY,

Straight into the trap tha...

Are you doing the same things, 

BUT expecting different results?

That’s the definition of insanity, isn’t it?

To get different results, we have to see things differently. 

We have to feel differently to then do differently.

I teach this with The Self Coaching Model awareness tool.

Our different results start with our perspective.

It starts with what we believe about ourselves, 

Ourselves in connection to our different relational partners, 

And our beliefs about relationships.

What are you currently believing in these areas?

Take time to write them down to become aware of them.

Why?

Because they are the key to your current relational results.

The only way to create different results is to understand the source driving those results and being intentional about the process.

What are your current results?

Your current results are the evidence of what you believe.

Write them down and see how your current beliefs and results align.

Your brain is what makes the creator withi...

We all want healthy, connective relationships.

Sometimes, what stands in our way is FEAR. 

AND as a result we become very much like a scared animal,

Seeing threats in our relationships.

Not feeling safe, 

With quills at the ready, 

Or going into our shell for protection, 

Or insecurity driving us to continuously ask for reassurance,

Or hiding out hoping conflict will solve itself.

What does any scared animal need?

What do YOU need when you feel like a scared animal in your relationships?

Have you ever been around an animal that had been traumatized?

My mother-in-law fosters and rehabilitates dogs and then re-homes them.

Through her, they get to experience what it’s like to feel safe again in a relationship with a person..

She works to create trust and LOVES, LOVES, LOVES on these dogs. 

It takes time, patience, and consistency.

We need the same things.

We need to do things to increase our safety,

Love ourselves hard,

And to be the one person we can trust most in our ...

As a girl some of my favorite memories were going to Grandma and Grandpa’s house every Sunday to play Hide & Go Seek Base with my cousins.

My grandparents had a huge backyard with a ton of really great hiding places.

On my grandparents back porch, they had a bench which was a backseat taken from an old vehicle.

That bench was HOME BASE.

It meant safety.

In our Hide & Go Seek Base, we would use the back porch bench as the place the seeker or sometimes multiple seekers had to wait and count to allow everyone else to run and hide.

The seekers were “it.”

The only way to become “it” is to get tagged before you reached the safety of home base.

If you reached home base you were secure.

You were safe.

When it was my turn to hide, I would strategize to find the best place and time to make a run for the safety of home base as quickly as possible.

That was a game, but in my real life, I didn’t have a strategy on how to anchor myself to the safety and security I experienced on that bench.

I didn’t know how to...

Relationships are both amazing and messy. 

Adding trauma to the equation can make it even more messy, more difficult, and more painful than we imagined it would be. 

Focusing on what’s within your control is the key to creating healthy, resilient relationships. 

It will help you bounce back as the creator, the hero, not the victim of your life. 

If not, we become blinded to our agency and the power within us to create what we want.

You are the ONE needed to pave the way, develop necessary skills, and make the changes you want to see in your relationships. 

Waiting for someone else to change will only leave you feeling powerless and helpless sitting back not making the essential changes within yourself. 

I will help you disrupt your side of unhealthy patterns in your relationship and replace unhealthy coping skills like people pleasing and codependency with new healthy skills like setting boundaries and creating emotional resiliency.

Sometimes trauma or a lack of healthy coping ...