Creating Safety in Your Relationships

As a girl some of my favorite memories were going to Grandma and Grandpa’s house every Sunday to play Hide & Go Seek Base with my cousins.

My grandparents had a huge backyard with a ton of really great hiding places.

On my grandparents back porch, they had a bench which was a backseat taken from an old vehicle.

That bench was HOME BASE.

It meant safety.

In our Hide & Go Seek Base, we would use the back porch bench as the place the seeker or sometimes multiple seekers had to wait and count to allow everyone else to run and hide.

The seekers were “it.”

The only way to become “it” is to get tagged before you reached the safety of home base.

If you reached home base you were secure.

You were safe.

When it was my turn to hide, I would strategize to find the best place and time to make a run for the safety of home base as quickly as possible.

That was a game, but in my real life, I didn’t have a strategy on how to anchor myself to the safety and security I experienced on that bench.

I didn’t know how to get back to safety as quickly as I was able to in my grandparents backyard.

This was one of the missing pieces that I needed.

As I look back on this I see how most of my life felt like Hide & Go Seek without the safety of home base.

Feeling unsafe and vulnerable to the threats all around me had become common place.

From the childhood trauma I had experienced, I had became super hyper-vigilant watching for threats without the option of the safety of home base.

The area I recognized feeling the most unsafe was in my relationships.

And in many cases, perceiving threats where there is actually no real danger.

I know how exhausting it is to live this way and miss out on experiencing ease, security, and freedom.

I can still remember the relief and excitement I felt safely reaching that bench.

I can still picture myself sitting on that bench and feeling secure and proud of myself.

And I know how to create that for myself now in my REAL life.

I have been doing the work to come home to safety.

I know how to create that now.

Anchoring safety is a skill and a practice.

It’s available to you too.